I’m tired of attempting to analyze people. It is as though I have this inherent disease where I subconsciously analyze people trying to decipher the significance behind their actions and words. In reality, I may be totally off in my analyses, yet I am sometimes affected by my perceptions of people. The astonishing thing, however, is that I am rarely incorrect with my perceptions. The vibes, demeanor, body language, and word usage of an individual serve as a window to that person’s mind. I don’t want this unlucky trait anymore though. I’m absolutely sick and tired of knowing more than I need to know. I wish there was an “off” button for this unwanted knowledge that keeps pouring into my head every time I converse with a person.
Over the years, I have, like many other people, come to the painful conclusion that this world is full of phonies. Most people are only looking to fend for themselves and their intentions are more often ingenuine than genuine. I guess this is my deeply ingrained cynicism speaking, but I cannot blame myself for this belief that I hold. I have had bad experiences during my life, which is the reason why I feel this way towards people and analyze them in the matter that I do. Perhaps one day I’ll have an epiphany and lose any and all perceptive abilities, but for now it is a habit of mine to recognize and dissect certain elements in a person’s speech and conduct that allude to his or her inner thoughts and character. I may seem judgmental, however, this is not the case. It is only after repeated encounters with a person that these perceptions begin to accumulate and point to certain factors. It is after my experiences with a person that I begin to determine how close or not close I should be to them.
These are the reasons why my circle of friends has diminished considerably over the years. I used to have people swarming around me, making plans and exchanging heart-to-heart conversations, literally around the clock. However, after I gained some clarity and sense of environment, I distanced myself from the people that cunningly utilized the disguise of friendship to harbor a harmfully malicious interior.
Today, I can count the number of people that I trust on one hand and one hand alone. I don’t feel sorry for this, nor do I regret it. The truth of the matter is that this is life, and life calls for such measures sometimes especially after it is unfairly abused.









